You know you have a problem when...

You blog at the library. I'm such a dork! Anyways, I'm now ready through the book of Samuel, and... God's really maturing my heart. I couldn't wait until I got home... I have to write about it now!!
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1 Samuel 15:1-3
1 Samuel said to Saul, "I am the one the LORD sent to anoint you king over his people Israel; so listen now to the message from the LORD. 2 This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. 3 Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.' "

'I will punish the Amalekites.. Do not spare them...'
Lesson #1: Listen!
God said that He would punish them. Remember: Obeying God doesn't help you receive merit of any kind... It really doesn't benefit us at all. Everything is in God's hands... He'll get it done, but it is a priveledge to be used by God. Actually, at first, when I read this, I was confused. "How could God do something like this?" Let me tell you quite simply... He's God. Don't worry about it and don't let your emotions or even reason get in the way. Pray about it if you unsure, but if you didn't hear God clearly the first time, He's probably going to repeat Himself exactly as He did before. :)

1 Samuel 15:9
But Saul and the army spared Agag and the best of the sheep and cattle, the fat calves and lambs—everything that was good. These they were unwilling to destroy completely, but everything that was despised and weak they totally destroyed.

Lesson #2: Obey God, not what is 'good.'
"No one is good—except God alone." I'm not sure if this is fully in context, but hear this out and challenge this idea. Jesus said this to a ruler who didn't think Jesus was God, but a 'good teacher.' Here it is in a mathematical equation:
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Given:
x = Jesus obeys God fully (Sent by God to express His love for us... His plan from the beginning (the Will of God).

Unknowns:
y = our decision (obey or not...)

We need to move on from the concept that Jesus was a good guy. We need to understand that Jesus is God and God knows what He's doing... Trust Him, already!
Through John 14:6-7 we know that
"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
Therefore: if x = y, then you're doing the Will of God.
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We can allow our emotions to clash with our decisions and Jesus warns us of this problem when He challenges us with the idea of becoming His disciple:

Luke 14:26-27
26"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. 27And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

Don't let anything hinder you. It may hinder you, but as I approach what Jesus said, I think of how hate makes us scrappy... Willing to do anything to accomplish our goal... Even act foolish. Don't let your emotions hinder you, but allow your passions to compel you into action.

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1 Samuel 15:20
20 "But I did obey the LORD," Saul said. "I went on the mission the LORD assigned me. I completely destroyed the Amalekites and brought back Agag their king. 21 The soldiers took sheep and cattle from the plunder, the best of what was devoted to God, in order to sacrifice them to the LORD your God at Gilgal."
22 But Samuel replied: "Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD ? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.
23 For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has rejected you as king."

"I went on the mission the Lord assigned me." I love how we go where God wants us to go, but we are consumed with this idea that we have to prove something to God. God is pretty straight forward... He loves full obedience. Sure, our employers love initiative, the only initiative God wants from us is to seek Him first, because then His will is done. (If you want to add to this idea, by all means... do it!) Samuel says this pretty well in his response to Saul's decision...

1 Samuel 15:22-23
22 But Samuel replied: "Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD ? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. 23 For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has rejected you as king."

Full obedience. I'm not so good at that... now what?
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1 Samuel 15:24-25
24 Then Saul said to Samuel, "I have sinned. I violated the LORD's command and your instructions. I was afraid of the people and so I gave in to them. 25 Now I beg you, forgive my sin and come back with me, so that I may worship the LORD."

Everything I said before was pretty straight forward, but here's where God put a change in my life. I used to love this scripture... The heart of Saul. As I read it now, my perception differs. The question that came to my head was this: "Why didn't you worship God by obeying Him?"

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Lesson #3: Don't be a hypocrit.

Luke 6:38
"Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure-- pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return."

Why didn't Saul worship God before he messed up?

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Lesson #4: Pray

Jesus, I want to listen to You the first time. Jesus, may I be ready... if I'm not ready then eager to make the adjustments necessary to obey You. Jesus, You're God. And I want to be Your faithful servant. Help me understand what it means to truly be Your disciple.